We were in Vibe Magazine! Songs others want off-limits Response to my critics Washington Post article Chewbacca Defense for Puff Daddy I Hate Puff Daddy Yahoo Club Purchase this music at Clueless Books, Music, and Video Add songs you'd like off-limits Please Puff Daddy Ruin This Song Too Mailbag Get here through a webring?
[Get Poofs - Not Puff]

It all started with "Can't No Body Hold Me Down" -- a hip-hop rap/song with a sample of a long-forgotten 80s song called "Break My Stride" by Matthew Wilder. I hoped that would be the end of it...but unfortunately Sting decided to "endorse" this prophet of sample and allow Puffy to copy "Every Breath You Take" (I'll Be Missing you), which shattered the sanctity of a favorite childhood song. Then I watched my husband flee our living room, terrorized, after Puffy destroyed Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" on SNL. But still I held out hope that it was all a big "fluke", and that people would soon tire of Puff's borrowing ways. I ignored the Puff Daddy phenomenon as best I could. But now this guy has gone to far... I cringed in horror as Lisa Stansfield's rendition of "All Around The World" became Puff Daddy and Mase's "Been Around The World". (Say what Puff?? "Been around the world and yah yah yah...and we been playa hated..." Puh-leeze!!) And then when the song started sampling David Bowie's "Let's Dance", I hit the roof. You simply don't mess with David Bowie. Next -- Puff decided to destroy Duran Duran's "Notorious". That was the final straw. Hell hath no fury like a former Duranie scorned! Now it was personal, and as a result this website was born. This man called Puffy is literally ruining the music from my childhood, and I'm turning it into a vendetta to stop him. So won't you please join me in my mission? Please read on to learn how -- together -- we can!

[No Puff All Fluff]

When you have to sample 15 out of 17 songs on a CD, you need to worry about your own creativity as an artist. (And in Puff Daddy's case, I use that term loosely.) Sure, it may get you into the Hollywood A-list party scene -- let you date Jennifer Lopez -- and even get ya' on People Magazine's "best dressed" list -- but this does not true talent make.

Below is a list of songs that I dare Puff Daddy to sample. And if he's sampled them already without my knowledge (don't own his music, don't plan to...), let me know and I'll add it to my list of grievances. And one day I WILL find Puff...because...one way or another, I'm gonna find ya', I'm gonna get ya', get ya', get ya', get ya', one way or another...

NEWSFLASH! Please don't call him Puffy! This just out from MTV News: "No more Puff Daddy the first week in June we're gonna have a name change ceremony," Combs said. "I'm not doing it as serious as Prince [but] I just want something fresh ... I'm rockin' with P. Diddy now my man Biggie gave me that name." It's just too bad that Biggie had to give him the name of an "average" Nintendo character! Coincidence? Nahhhh!

[Diddy Kong is average!]

[Off-limits songs]

Don't You Want Me --
Human League
Love Shack --
Tempted --
Come On Eileen --
Dexy's Midnight Runners
I Love Rock and Roll --
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Mickey --
Toni Basil
In Your Eyes --
Peter Gabriel
I'll Be You --
The Replacements
My Sharona --
The Knack
You Spin Me 'Round (Like a Record) --
Dead or Alive
Tainted Love --
Soft Cell
Let's Go All the Way --
Sly Fox
I Ran --
Flock of Seagulls
Dancing With Myself --
Billy Idol
Under the Milky Way --
The Church
Tenderness --
General Public
A Perfect Way --
Scritti Politti
Der Kommissar --
After The Fire
Major Tom --
Peter Schilling
Too Much Time On My Hands --
I Melt With You --
Modern English
99 Luft Balloons --

[Off-limits groups/artists]

Talking Heads
The Pixies
Adam Ant
The Go-Gos
Joy Division/New Order
Oingo Boingo
Missing Persons
The Beastie Boys
The Police
The Cars
The Bangles
Duran Duran
Elvis Costello
Jane's Addiction
The Clash
The Cure
Midnight Oil
Depeche Mode
Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
Tears For Fears
10,000 Maniacs
The Ramones
Pet Shop Boys
Steve Miller Band
Elton John oldies

("Rocket Man", "Bennie and the Jets", etc.)
Siouxie and the Banshees
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
The Pretenders
Simple Minds
Nine Inch Nails

Due to the overwhelming popularity of this website -- I have now created a guestbook to enter your songs/artists that are off-limits to Puffy (rather than adding them all to the old list by hand)... Your submissions will NOT show up there automatically! I will have to approve each entry before it is made public. I'm doing this to keep things "clean" and on-topic. If you've got a complaint or comment for the ol' mailbag, it should be sent here instead. Let me repeat -- only songs and artists go in the guestbook! Get it, got it? Good!

[Get Poofs NOT Puff]
He's going to pay. This time, Puffy has gone too far. [Smiley]

Just when I thought I'd seen it all...my all-time favorite e-mail response for this website:
[Click here for the mailbag]

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[Sell Out]
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